The Voice in Your Head

Sometimes the biggest obstacle to being good to yourself is the voice in your head. It’s always there, especially in those rare moments when we have some peace and quiet. It talks to us all the time, day after day. Even worse, its generally not reassuring.

The critical thing to understand about the voice in your head is that its not you. It can’t be. If you are the one who is hearing the constant chatter from the voice, then the voice has to be coming from an entity other than you. In fact, the voice in your head is actually your brain incessantly producing logic for you to consider in making decisions. (A more comprehensive discussion about how the voice in your head is not you can be found in the book Solve for Happy by Mo Gawdat.)

How does this relate to being good to yourself? Sometimes the voice will present logical reasons why you shouldn’t do certain things that you know are important. For example, if you like to run in the morning before going to work, the voice might suggest skipping the run for an extra hour or two of sleep. Technically, the voice isn’t wrong here; all things being equal, extra sleep should help you get through a long day at work. However, the voice is not considering your unique characteristics. If you know that a morning run will make you more effective than some extra sleep, then there is no reason to follow the voice’s suggestion to sleep in. Remember, the voice isn’t giving you commands which must be followed; it is only giving you suggestions which you get to decide whether or not to accept.

It's perfectly acceptable to overrule the voice in your head, especially when it might be questioning things that you know you need to do in order be good to yourself.